My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
