so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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