apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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