you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
No subtext here. People are naked.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize