How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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