All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize