Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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