I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize