i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
