took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
