i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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