It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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