some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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