really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
