I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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