help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think I died a long time ago.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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