I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
