OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
