I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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