ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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