Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
