Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
