We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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