you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
