My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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