you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
