I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
