Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We have so much sex to catch up on
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
