Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
