went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
