i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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