We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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