Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
