Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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