it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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