matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
