I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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