I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We talked him into tasing himself.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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