yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Small penises have feelings too.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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