I'm passing your future prison.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
