I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
