At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
