She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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