NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
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He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
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He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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