I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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