we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
