Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
