iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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