After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
