Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
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he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
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For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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