This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
