left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
