He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
