Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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