4 words: hood of his car
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize