Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
