K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
