my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
