I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he laminated a picture of his dick.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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