She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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