Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
