Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
