i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
